I really need to update this thing more often. I’ve been posting a lot on my LiveJournal, but it occurs to me that I really should write here, too. I’ve kept this mostly free of my personal life, but I’m beginning to wonder if that was the wisest decision. Due to my various illnesses, I have periods where I’m not actively writing and thus this blog gets awfully quiet.

Honestly, not sure anyone is reading this anymore. I only ever get comments from spammers. Iff’n y’all are still reading, gimme a poke, willya? 🙂

Update: Physical and mental health

I’m sorry I haven’t kept this updated. It looks like it’s been a year or so now since I last posted. Blech!

I’ve had a lot of real life problems this past year. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis last fall, and I’ve been going through the medical merry-go-round to find something that works. On top of that, my husband and boyfriend were also diagnosed with autoimmune conditions. This year has been spent dealing with a lot of medical crap.

It’s not all bad, though. I started seeing a psych for my anxiety, but also because I wanted to bring up the question of bipolar. I’ve had the symptoms for, well, ages, but when I spoke to a psychiatrist about it before, I was told that it didn’t fit me because I don’t go out gambling, drinking, having wild promiscuous sex, doing drugs, etc, when I’m manic.

Well, no. I get hypomanic. The problem is, it presents more productively. I get lots of writing done. I stay up for 48hrs writing because the characters in my head won’t shut up and let me sleep until I write their stories. I get excited about projects, throw myself into them, and then as soon as the mania wears off, I crash, and then start the downward spiral into the depressive. This is not healthy, but my psych at the time apparently didn’t think it was anything to worry about; truthfully, I was also probably not forceful enough.

I saw a psych nurse practitioner that came highly recommended from my mother (who is a psych nurse of some 30+ years experience), and she had me diagnosed either bipolar II or cyclothymia the first visit. Cyclothymia is basically bipolar lite. I’m borderline between the two, but I’ll refer to it as bipolar II because more people are familiar with that.

So I got put on medication. Lamictal, if you’re curious. The first couple weeks were rough and I was cycling like nuts, but then it started working, and — wow.

If I had known how much the meds would help, I would have pushed a lot harder five years ago.

I started writing again. A new project. And I was afraid, because I loved this idea, but the past few years have taught me that I wouldn’t be able to stick with it. I’d get depressed and end up cycling through projects yet again. And I haven’t. I ended up picking up a project that is 2/3 finished but I am working on both of them as time allows.

Since May, I have written some 35,000 words, roughly. This is more than I think I wrote in all of 2010 and 2009. There are no words to convey my relief and my joy. I had thought I’d lost my writing. I truly had. I tried to write, and I would just cry, because I couldn’t… and this has given me back my words. It’s given me back my voice. I’m so happy and relieved and grateful, you cannot imagine.

I have myself back.

And that’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Creative Slump

It’s been a rough summer. After finishing The Shadow Unveiled and Severed Spirits Rising, I haven’t been able to get in a frame of mind to work on anything. I had a nasty event a few months ago, and I haven’t entirely recovered since. Between that, the difficulties of summer on my health, plus usual “post book partum” 😛 I’ve been looking over my huge backlog of “to be written” and haven’t come up with anything that sparked.

There’s also the consideration of market. Not that I am necessarily “writing to market”, but what you write and first come out with is generally what readers expect to see from you. Especially in print. I have novel WIPs that are more appropriate for print than e-publishing due to their nature, but they’re off-the-cuff things, like my epic fantasy or my Arthurian novel. I don’t want to get locked into writing X and only X but that’s the way the market seems to work. That niggling thought in the back of my head does not help matters. 🙄

Hopefully the slump will pass, and then I can get back to working on something new. 🙂

She’s back…

“Guess who’s back
Back again
Shady’s back
Tell a friend
Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back
guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back…”

*hums the rest of Eminem’s Without Me* 😉

I’m not even going to comment on how long it’s been since I’ve blogged here. Bottom line is, way too fucking long. Last year was stressful and busy as all hell, and while this year has had its stresses, my biggest problem has been getting my fibro pain under control. My doc upped my pain prevention meds and also wrote me a script for breakthrough pain medication — so yay on that front!

Writing-wise, I’m currently working on The Shadow Unveiled, the sequel to The Twilight Deception. It picks up immediately where the first novella left off, and involves a lot more emotion as Jackson and Arielle’s relationship deepens. It’s wicked fun to write. 🙂

In other good news, I have a R&R from Total E-Bound for one of my erotic shorts. It needs a bit more sexing up, but that shouldn’t be too big a deal as I can see a couple places to add scenes that will deepen the overall story. I wouldn’t do it if it were going to be gratuitous; that’s one of my biggest peeves in erotic fiction.

Oh, and I’ve also changed the layout of the site with help from my dear husband. If you’re reading this via RSS, check out the main page at 😀

I am alive…

Really. I promise.


It’s been a very hectic month and a half. Every time I turn around, something else has gone wrong. We keep having car trouble (Stitches the Shitmobile can’t decide whether or not it wants to be dead or alive), one of our kittens has a bad infection and is being treated with antibiotics for it, and sundry other things have managed to sneak up and clock me one over the head.

Needless to say, I haven’t been getting much in the way of writing done. My World of Warcraft characters, however, have been gaining levels at a fairly decent clip. 🙄

I’m trying to get back into the swing of things, though. I’ve been making some good progress on Stronger than the Night the past week or so, mostly thanks to getting back with my group of writing buddies. I’d had a nasty falling-out with one person due to several miscommunications compounded by external stress, which left the whole group splintered. Thankfully, said person and I talked recently and seem to have worked things out. *crosses fingers*

I really ought be working on the sequel to A Passion Draconic, but seeing as how Stronger is already in progress and most of the way completed… it makes more sense to give it priority. (I think.)

End To A Long Silence

Jeez. It’s been almost a month since I last blogged here. *checks* Never mind, make that a full month. Wow. I didn’t think it’d been that long–but this month has flown fast enough it feels like mere days. I haven’t gotten a lot of writing done due to real life stuff, so I haven’t been posting. That being said, I’ve got a lot to update about. This post will be more personal than normal, so if you aren’t interesting in hearing about this weird and wacky writer’s personal life, you may want to scroll by. Otherwise, hang on for the ride. 😉

I mentioned in brief going to Boskone. My friend Jami came up from San Antonio for the con–and to visit us. We’d both expressed mutual interest online; the complication was, Jami’s prior girlfriend had been online also, but things didn’t “spark” when they met IRL. This concerned us, so we decided to wait until we met IRL to decide anything. Um. To make a long story short, we hit it off quite well. Right now, Jami would like to move, but she needs to wait until the end of her lease, as she’s sharing the apartment with a good friend.

That didn’t come as much surprise. Everyone involved thought there was a very good chance of it happening once we met IRL.

That’s not all.

About the time Jami came up for Boskone, we also invited Morgan’s “brother” Paul. We knew he’d been having a lot of problems with his then-fiancée and thought he could use the time away. Since we were all going up to the con together, it made more sense for him to stay overnight than for us to drive back and forth from his house. With time away from her–and talking about the situation with *cough*sane*cough* people–he slowly began to realize just how screwed up the relationship was. I’m not going to go into any details in a public venue; let’s just say that the relationship was quite emotionally and verbally abusive.

Morgan and I did something we don’t usually do. We told him precisely what we thought: “Ditch the bitch.” And we offered him a place to stay. We all get along well, and while Paul has health issues of his own due to a severe work-related injury, they’re different than ours; massage therapy and energy work actually do something for him. I’m good at both. Logistically, it seemed it would be a good fit.

Except the more time we spent around each other, the more he and I began to “click.” We both admitted we were attracted to each other, but I made it clear I was not going to do anything while he was with her, because they were in a monogamous relationship. I’m polyamorous; I’m not a cheater, and I refuse to be the “other woman.”

Ultimately, Paul decided the situation with his fiancée was not workable. He tried to work it out, but she refused to hear anything he said about the way he felt. I was there to witness some of the conversations, and she always spun it around to be about her instead of listening to him. When Paul talked about the problems they’d been having for several years, she would only focus on recent issues and say she was working on them. The problem being, she was only working on them because she had to, and she was bitching and moaning every step of the way.

That opened the way for things between him and I. At that point, I was still very uncertain. I was afraid to admit how I felt, and I worried that I was a rebound on his part, even though he’s not the sort of person prone to them. Add to that the confusion about the attraction to another male; I identify as mostly lesbian, and I don’t like men as a general rule, almost to the point of active dislike in some cases.

A couple days after breaking up with her, she wanted to talk with him alone. He needed to get some stuff from the house also, so he went. All evening long, I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something was wrong, and I had no clue what. I figured the girl had probably gone off her nut again, and I didn’t trust that she wouldn’t totally lose it. Around one in the morning, I got a phone call from him. He’d been in an accident on the way home. It was foggy and icy, and a semi had rounded a corner on the wrong side of the road. Paul barely managed to avoid hitting it head-on, but rammed the car into a guard rail. It wasn’t too far from his house, so he managed to get it back there and call me, but it was such a close call…

It’s funny how almost losing someone you love slams your feelings full force in your face. I’d known I loved him, but I’d been afraid and tried to avoid it… after that, after almost losing him, I couldn’t anymore.

It’s been a couple weeks at this point, and everything’s settling in nicely. And yes–Morgan’s fine with the situation, as is Jami. I’m sure that will confuse a lot of people, but hey… it’s us. 🙂


It’s been a hectic weekend. First off, it’s looking like we need to replace our car sooner than we’d anticipated, so my plans to go to RWA Nationals this year are more than a bit moot, unless Morgan should manage to get a significantly better job in the next couple months (given his recent health, not very likely). Needless to say, I’m pretty bummed about that. 🙁

We went to Boskone, a local science fiction and fantasy convention, with a couple friends. Unfortunately, due to a fubar on Boston’s part (parts of the subway line we needed to take were shut down for this weekend only), we didn’t get to the con until 4pm on Saturday, so I missed quite a bit of the panels I’d wanted to see. Still a lot of fun, though, and I got to meet up with some people I hadn’t seen in a year or more.

I might be going to Lunacon next month. Smudge and Pen are going and offered to split a room with me and the male. Morgan has had to take a lot of time off work, so he wouldn’t be able to, but Pen lives close enough that we can probably carpool. It’d be a lot of fun–and hey, it’s in New York, which is one place I haven’t been to yet. Not that I’d do much besides hang around folks at the con, but still!

In other news, I’ve received a few awesome reviews these past couple days. Cocktail Reviews, a new review blog, gave The Twilight Deception five champagne flutes (their second highest rating!) and Wasting the Dawn four flutes. A couple quotes:

“What an utterly fantastic read. I haven’t read a book that has affected me in this way for a while.” — Wilga Hill Boomerang on Twilight.

“Ms. Drake has an exceptional voice and a unique ‘thing’ that just shines from the page.” — White Russian on Wasting.


About a month or so ago, I sent a query to Mrs. Giggles for The Twilight Deception. I happened to check the website today, not so much because I wanted to check, but because I love her site… and she’d posted the review.

She rated it an 83.

For Mrs. Giggles, this is high praise, indeed. I’m still bouncing off the walls. A long-ish quote: “Elisabeth Drake has an interesting alternate world in this story. Vampires and witches are nothing new, but the otherworldly vampires here are not the usual vampires and their ability to pass themselves off as humans even in broad daylight allows some interesting possibilities. The author also knows how to tell a story in an entertaining manner – this short story has excellent build-up and ends most satisfactorily despite the book being only 75 pages long. I don’t feel that the story is rushed to a conclusion.”

I’d hoped she would like it, but… this is Mrs. Giggles. She is known for char-broiling manuscripts. While I’ve had several picky people crit/beta read my work, much less editors, I’m not going to assume that someone won’t think it’s crap anyway. ^_^

So, yeah, bouncing off walls. Whee!

Okay, so…

(cross-posted from the Livejournal)

I had to do my annual bra-and-underwear shopping today. Usually I don’t do it more than once a year, because it is a pain in the fucking ass. But, things get old, cats and kittens shred them, gremlins steal them for transvestite parties… end result is: Nonny needs to buy more.

Underwear isn’t that bad, really. The main problem is finding something in black. I have no idea why white and cotton candy pink seem to be the most popular colors considering that most women bleed once a month. And, y’know, pads and tampons are great and wonderful and all that, but they aren’t 100% protective. Blood leaks through and stains undies (if you wear them).

So why, by Lucifer’s navel lint, do people feel the need to stock 90% of women’s underwear in pink or white???

Of course, size 6 underwear in the brand and style (Hanes Body Creations microfiber, bikini style; most comfortable panties evar!) also seems to be the rarest. I could find plenty of panties in size 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, and above. Hell, there were even several pairs of 0 and 2 underwear. 6? Apparently someone got confused about the Number of the Beast and thinks it’s “6” and not “666,” because I had to dig like a puppy dog on crack to find any in the style I like. (Oh, if only I could stand to wear regular cotton…)

Since I’ve lost a bit of weight since the last time I bought underwear, I bought a size 5. Hopefully those fit well enough. *sigh*

Now, bras … um. Forewarning: Profanity abounds. (Like this is any motherfucking news.)

It is apparently fucking impossible for a woman with 36B cup tits to find a bra that isn’t a cocksucking push-up bra. (Yes, they’re selling talented multi-tasking bras these days.) If you’re a C, D, DD, or above cup, there’s fucking plenty of non-padded, non-pushup pretty lacy bras. WTF do they think, that anyone who has a fucking B rack is insecure and needs to fucking compensate?

I like my tits the size they are. I don’t need a push-up bra to make myself look good. Hell, I had enough people comment on the cleavage from my wedding pictures, and I wasn’t wearing a bra then. The only fucking reason I buy the goddamn things in the first place is because I have some nice shirts and dresses that don’t look right without them. 99% of the time, I don’t bother to wear the things. (Ask Morgan if you don’t believe me.)

Sure, they had sports bras that would “fit” — as much as any sports bra ever does. They fucking crush my tits and hurt my back. Supportive, my ass. I could probably go to a specialty store like Vickie’s and find something, but I don’t want to drop $50 on a piece of clothing I never fucking wear. It’s not that important.

After scouring the racks, I found two bras that might be acceptable — non-underwire, shaped like a normal bra; I think the fabric probably won’t agree with me, but I’ll give it a try. Then I thought about it and decided to look in the girl’s section. I used to find 36B there before, and I thought there was a decent chance I’d find something more acceptable.

Okay… am I the only person who thinks there is something FUNDAMENTALLY FUCKING WRONG when the only thing I can find in the GIRL’S SECTION is push-up bras??????? They didn’t even have the little training bras I used to get; just a few sports bras, and the rest were all push-up or padded.

I am deeply disturbed.

And I am fucking glad I don’t have to do this for another motherfucking year.

The male’s appt…

Since at least one person wanted an update 😉 … Morgan’s appointment went decently well. She scripted him a muscle relaxant to deal with the tension from the almost constant migraines, and referred him to several different specialists. He needs to see a neurologist for the migraines, a rheumatologist for the possible fibro/arthritis, and a cardiologist for the hypotension.

My poor male is going to be in and out of Boston a lot this next couple months. 😕

Hopefully, they manage to find something out. On the bright side, he took the Baby (read: laptop) with him since he has a half hour train ride and about forty-five minutes of train/bus to get there (and that’s just one-way). While on various forms of public transit, he wrote some 1700 words. This from my male who usually writes 300-600 at a stretch. He’s not too happy with my suggestion that he should go to the doctor if only for the word count. LOL.