Fate Has It In For Me

I swear to gods, September has been the Month From Hell.

On top of the medical issues, there’s been a lot of personal stuff going on that’s very stressful, and I’d rather not talk about. Needless to say, it’s been heavily contributing to the overall issues with my fibromyalgia.

So what happens on Monday?

Our power goes out. >_< This time, it wasn't weather related. This time it was because the check for the electric company was in the mail, hadn’t yet reached them, and wouldn’t have been enough anyway. (Our electric bill runs about $400/mo for a small fucking apartment. Cost of living in this area is ridiculous.) Thank gods we were able to borrow money from a friend to get the power turned back on, as they wanted an exorbidant amount up front.

*beats head against keyboard*

Can I get off this fucking roller coaster already? Please?


Regarding the doctor’s visit, I didn’t actually go till Thursday. (I ended up rescheduling because I had bad insomnia the night before and was afraid I’d fall asleep on the bus… which would not be a good thing when I don’t know the area too well.)

Of course, they had no clue what happened. The doctor was very sympathetic, but utterly baffled. Basically, she asked me to get the records transferred and they’d take a look and see if maybe the other hospital had missed something on the ultrasound or CT scan. And if the pain came back, to come in again.

So I come back home, and the phone’s ringing as I walk through the door. It’s my mom, and I chat with her a bit about the whole medical experience. And she’s like, “Extreme pain about the middle of the back, feels like someone threw a knife across the room into it?”

Me: “Exactly!”

Apparently, except for the location, it’s precisely the same sort of thing she and everyone else in her family who hasn’t had their gall bladder removed goes through every so often. How lovely. She said if it’s one or more small gall stones, it wouldn’t necessarily show up on a CT scan, and mentioned a home remedy to try that’s worked for her. Olive oil and beets, oddly enough. o.O

I figure it can’t hurt to try. 😛

That was just soooo much fun…

Yeah, right.

Around 5AM yesterday morning, I started having severe pain in my back, about an inch to the right of the spine, mirrored at my abdomen. Thinking that it might possibly be muscle tension and pain, I took a muscle relaxant and an ultram.

Both of them did absolutely nothing. Instead, the pain got worse, to the point it felt like I had something stabbing, and I thought I was going to either throw up or pass out — or both. I did a bit of research online and it looked like the top three issues with those symptoms were a kidney infection, kidney stones, or appenticitis.

In other words, nothing to fuck around with. I don’t drink anywhere near as much water as I should, so I consider myself predisposed for kidney/bladder problems (amazingly, haven’t had any issues to this point *knocks on wood*). My aunt had appenticitis around my age, too, so… yeah. I called the off-shift doctor at my doc’s office to confirm, and he said that I probably should go into the ER then (6AM) because I’d get treated faster than if I went later in the afternoon.

My male, however, was at work, and wouldn’t get home till about noon. Since it wasn’t “urgent,” I expected that I’d need to pop a vicodin (still have some leftover from tooth extraction a year and a half ago) and wait. But he’s like, “Um. No. I’m coming home and we’re taking you to the doctor now.

As my doctor and the hospital network are in Boston, we ended up going to one out-of-network (but still covered by insurance) nearby, the Caritas Norwood Hospital. We got there around 7:30/8ish and I got whisked into the back faster than I expected. As in, I’d pick up my book to read and someone would call me to get my vitals taken, get the registration done, get called back… yeah.

They did urine tests, blood tests, and an ultrasound. They didn’t actually medicate me for pain till I got the ultrasound results back around noonish (at which point I asked my male be brought in from the waiting room, which they did very promptly), because what they gave me would depend on what was wrong. I don’t have a kidney stone or infection, but something in my blood counts was high, so they were very concerned about appenticitis.

So the nurse had me drink this stuff that tasted like banana kaopectate (if there is such a thing) and hooked me up with 2mg of morphine. It took down most of the pain but didn’t kick it all so after an hour or so, she gave me another dose, and… um. That’d be the first time in about three years that I haven’t hurt at all, which is disturbing, in a way. Cause even through ultram or vicodin, I still hurt. Just not as much. Nice to know, though, that I don’t react badly to morphine. Reacted with me a bit like ultram, actually, only stronger on the pain-killing side.

On the somewhat amusing side, I was bored out of my mind at this point, having finished the books I brought (and my directionally clueless male isn’t familiar with Norwood so couldn’t go buy me something at a convenience store), so I sent him to get some scratch paper from the nurses. Finished part of a chapter, got brought in to get the CAT scan done, came back, finished the chapter and started another….. 😛

Around 6PM (they were swamped that day; the nurse actually said it was unusual how many people they had in), the doc came in again to talk to me. The CAT scan results came back fine. I don’t have appendicitis and they didn’t show anything else wrong in either the abdomen or pelvic region (as they did both to be thorough).

They suggested that given my PCOS and enlarged ovaries, it may be gynecological (the nurse mentioned that if I’m ovulating, it could cause that sort of pain with the PCOS… but I’m pretty sure birth control is supposed to prevent ovulation), and offered to schedule me an appt with their clinic there… but as my network is up in Boston, that really wouldn’t work, insurance being picky and all that.  So they discharged me with a script for vicodin (nothing stronger because if it got worse, the doc wanted me to know it rather than have it completely masked by a strong narcotic) and I have an appt with a gyn at my primary doc’s office in the morning.

I’m still hurting but nowhere near as bad… hopefully, we can find out what’s wrong. If something’s wrong. (I mean, I would hope I wouldn’t end up on morphine for nothing.)

*sighs* I hate my body.

So I suck…

I suck. Like a 25c whore. I can never remember to keep this thing updated. LOL.

Granted, it’s been a sucky couple of weeks, too. The fibro flare hasn’t gotten much better, but thankfully, it hasn’t gotten worse, either. It’s just… there. I manage what I can and let the rest slide; otherwise I’ll drive myself nuts trying to keep up with everything I can’t.

Finished the first round of revisions for The Twilight Deception today. The major thing was expanding the sex scene, which was admittedly short in the first version. Trickiest thing was beefing up the emotion as well as the sexual description, because it’s… a very desperate sort of scene.

Amusingly, I happened to be listening to music at the time, and my player switched to a song that was utterly perfect for the scene’s mood:

Closer my love
Veil me with your warmth
Oh how afraid we are
I hold my breath
I try to hide my pain
Here in your embrace
So this pain would be gone

This time I want you to
Dry all your tears as we make…

Love…for the last time
Replace your heart with mine…
Deep inside
Please stay with me through the night

I rinse my face
With your tears
Too many tears for the end
Darling please don’t you cry
You hold your breath
You try to hide your pain
Here in my embrace
So this pain would be gone

Fly without sorrow
In my dreams we meet again
For you I live, I would die for
You’ll stay deep inside my heart

“Closer (My Love)”
by Entwine

I love it when I find songs like that. Especially when I find them at a time they’re useful. (Vs. long after the fact.) 😉

The Reaper’s Price

The Reaper’s Price
3202 / 5000 (64.04%)

Progress so far on The Reaper’s Price. As usual when I decide to do a marathon, something cropped up. This time it’s not a flu, but my back has been hurting really badly lately. I’m not sure what’s up with it, but it’s been spasming a lot and much more tense than usual. Put it this way, bad enough to break out the Vicodin I had leftover from a tooth extraction. (Last time I took one for anything was over a year ago, if that gives you an idea.)

Still, I’m making some amount of progress in the WIP, which I’m happy for. The first scene was a little — okay, more than a little — rough because I was trying to get into the character’s voice, but after that, so far, so good. I’m adoring my male lead. He’s an ass and a rogue. But a chivalrous one. 😀

Might not make a 3 Day Novel, but I’m at least getting a good start on this WIP. 🙂

Oh well…

Didn’t make it onto the crapometer. Not surprising, since I believe she got over 600 entries in the 12hr open period. Oh well. It’s rather comforting, though, to see the quality — or the lack thereof — of submissions for this. The queries themselves would be one thing, as it’s not easy to condense a novel into a page and a half, but the vast majority of first pages … are in need of serious work.

(Then again, it’s not like I wasn’t submitting crap that was worse back when I was a teen, either, so….)

Quaking in my little goth boots…

Or something like that. 😉

Miss Snark is opening the Crap-o-meter for submissions tomorrow. Basically, it’s a chance at a public (informative) shredding session of a query and first page.

Masochistic little me? So going for it.

Add to that, the Evil Editor is almost through the metric shitload of queries he received when the Snarklings invaded. So I figured, what the hell, and am sending to him, too. *headdesk*

In other news, I’ve also decided on insanity and am going for the Three Day Novel marathon. Not officially, because I’m not spending $50 for something that’s biased towards lit-fic (which I don’t think I could write if I tried). But it’s been a long time since I’ve actually done a marathon, dammit.

Which, of course, means I’m liable to come down with the Flu From Hell on Saturday. 🙄

Regardless, I’m itching to get into The Reaper’s Price, which I haven’t actually done anything with yet, and I hope at the very least I’ll make a decent dent in it. 🙂

Anyone else joining me? 😉